Tag Archives: anxiety

Choosing your attitude while living through difficulty

Posted on by
Reply

The Lord of the Rings trilogy is, among other things, an allegory for the battle between light and darkness, and the place of average folk in that struggle. We are, all of us, more like Hobbits than we might like to admit. We want to think we are like Aragorn or Legolas, but alas, we are more like Froddo, Samwise, Merry & Pippin. Or perhaps we are wrestling like Gollum/Smeagol with the two voices within us, alternately seeking to serve self and other.

On this journey, we have opportunities to chose our attitude toward the challenges we face. This is neither simply nor easy, but it is possible, even necessary, if we are to move forward toward wholeness in the midst of this life. The following brief exchange from The Fellowship of the Ring illustrates this point:

Frodo: I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.

Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring. In which case, you were also meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought.

Do you struggle with choosing and maintaining a helpful attitude in your situation? Coaching can help. Let’s talk. Complete the form below and I’ll contact you to set up a free coaching session.

New Coaching Practice – day 3

Posted on by
Reply

Well, this launch of my new coaching business/ministry has been a whirlwind of
thoughts, hopes, dreams, questions, words, conversations,listening, praying, watching, tweaking, typing, driving, calling, texting,
asking for favors and offering favors.

I think that the more I tell my story, the greater clarity I gain and the more my words seem to make sense and find their own coherence. At least that is how it feels to me.

I have revamped my website and built a new Facebook Page for Ken G Crawford Coaching.

I have created initial business cards and flyers for both the business and ministry sides of my practice.

I have had business owners express interest in forming strategic alliances.
I have had individuals request a consultation to explore establishing a coaching relationship.I have had clergy indicate both need and desire to work work with a coach.

I still have to make decisions on the formation of the legal entity – LLC, S-Corp, SP, etc.
I still have some branding decisions to make in the short term.

I still need to decide on a name for the business and the ministry. I am leaning toward:
“Synchronous Life” – as in “Bring harmony your work, relational and spiritual energies.”  “Synchronicity Ministries” and “Synchronous Life.”  I want one central word or idea – i.e. “Synchronicity” that can be developed and riffed in a variety of ways for both commercial and non-profit ventures.

I am excited about the new things that God is unfolding in my life and ministry, and hopeful for all that is to come. I pray that this work makes good use of my gifts and talents, is a blessing to others in their lives, enables me to provide for my family, and ultimately glorifies God. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

Dealing with the pace of change

Posted on by
Reply

Change is a fact of life. Everything changes, from the moment it comes into existence it is in a state of flux, growing, transforming, decaying. Sometimes we view this process as beneficial and healthy, while at others we deny, restrain and even fight change. Fighting change is like trying to restrain the wind or water of a storm – ultimately, nature wins.

We have the opportunity to choose our attitude toward change – fear or hope, resistance or embrace, conflict or adaption. Some people seem to have a greater capacity for peace in the midst of change, and for adaptability as the situation dictates.

Family systems theory gives us considerable insight into how we experience anxiety in ourselves and the system in the midst of change. Often one person will take on the anxiety for the system, particularly if others are remarkably, and seemingly irrationally, calm. The anxious person (identified patient) will think, if not outright say, “What is wrong with you people? Don’t you see what’s going on? Don’t you recognize the grave dangers?!” This individual may absorb and express enough anxiety for everyone.

Each individual’s capacity remaining non-anxious through change is a result of their personality disposition, family of origin influences, and experience and training. Some people have a natural head start when it comes to dealing with change and anxiety. Others develop this capacity over time, perhaps through hard fought personal battles and hard won emotional maturity.

When we interact in pastoral care settings, we frequently are working with people who are facing significant changes and experiencing the ramifications of that situation. We need to recognize that each of these persons is part of their own system (family, friends, community) as well as being part of a system with us (care-giver and care-receiver, organization, institution, etc). And finally, each of us is a system within ourselves – body, mind, soul and spirit, intellect and emotions, thoughts and feelings, memory and future anticipations. Our ability to reflect on the pace of change, and remain non-anxious in the face of other’s anxiety, will go a long way toward helping them find their way toward wholeness.

Think about a situation in your life where you have faced significant change. What anxiety did you feel? How did you handle it? What would you do differently now? What did you learn that you can share with others?

This article is a followup to George Bullard’s article: At what speed should congregations move?